


She's Gonna Breathe Now

by iamtraassshh



Category: Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 - Malloy
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Going to Therapy, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mary is sad, but im too sad/soft atm, i think, someone give her a hug pls, this was supposed to be angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:34:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26183500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamtraassshh/pseuds/iamtraassshh
Summary: Mary runs to Natasha when an incident with her father occurs but her resistance to open up frustrates Natasha who just wants to help her girlfriend.
Relationships: Marya "Mary" Nikolaevna Bolkonskaya/Natalya "Natasha" Ilyinichna Rostova
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	She's Gonna Breathe Now

**Author's Note:**

> Check tags for TW!! 
> 
> Also, the title is a Gelsey Bell song that you should totally check out ;)

It took all Mary had to not break down on the way to Natasha’s place. She had texted her girlfriend frantically a few minutes ago after her father had one of his episodes. It was one of the worst ones, and he was more violent than usual. He had grabbed and twisted her arm quite hard, causing bruises to form and had struck her across the cheek, drawing blood and also causing a bruise. Thankfully she could clean herself up quite quickly and throw on a long sleeve sweater and some concealer to prevent Natasha from finding out. She didn’t want her girlfriend to worry. 

She took a deep breath and knocked at the door, her mood instantly improving upon seeing Natasha’s bright and infectious smile. 

Natasha ran towards her, “Hi Mary! I’m so glad you texted, I missed you.” 

Mary blushed, she still couldn’t believe someone as perfect as Natasha was with someone like her. 

Natasha led her into her room, sitting on her bed and patting the spot next to her for Mary to sit next to her before turning to face her. “You look adorable in that sweater, though I’d prefer it off you.” 

Mary threw her head back in laughter at Natasha’s cheesy line an attempt at a sultry voice, “Someone’s spent too much time around Hélène.” 

Natasha flushed, “I was just trying to-” She paused as she noticed something peaking out of Mary’s sleeve that had gotten pushed up. She moved her hand to push it back further and gasped. Under her sleeve was an ugly purple yellowish bruise. Mary quickly yanked the sleeve down and attempted a smile. 

Natasha placed a hand lightly over Mary’s forearm where she saw the bruise, “What’s that from, Masha?” 

Mary glanced sideways, “Just bumped it.” 

Natasha arched an eyebrow, she had always been incredibly perspective and knew that Mary wasn’t telling the truth, “You’re lying. Your eyes are all shifty. What happened?” 

Marya pulled her arm out of Natasha’s gentle grip and said coldly, “I already told you. I bumped it, it’s nothing.” Mary’s father may do horrible things to her, but she loved him dearly and she wasn’t going to talk badly about him. Natasha would assume he was a monster or something and Mary definitely did want that, even if deep down she knew it wasn’t far from the truth. 

Natasha groaned at Mary’s blatant lie, “Mary I’m just trying to help.” 

Mary slid off the bed, “I don’t need any help, Natasha.” 

Natasha flopped back on the bed exasperatedly, “Whatever then Mary, just push me away like you always do.” 

Mary looked at her in confusion, “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Natasha lurched into a sitting position, “It means, you never tell me anything, God Mary, I’m supposed-” She paused as Mary flashed her a glare, “Gosh, Mary, I’m supposed to be your girlfriend but you never let me in.” 

“I wasn’t aware I had to tell you everything.” 

Natasha facepalmed, “Why are you being so difficult?!” Her voice growing slightly louder than she had intended. 

Mary recoiled at that word. Difficult. It was something her father had always called her. When she messed up in her geometry lessons he insisted on giving her, when she took off mornings of caring for him to attend church, or when she missed dinner to hang out with Natasha. He always claimed she was being difficult, and she was making his life difficult. 

“I- I think I’m just gonna go,” Mary said quickly, rushing out the door. She slammed the door behind her and paused outside, her back against the wall. She slowly sunk down as the weight of what was happening hit her. The two people she loved most in the world, Natasha and her father, were both incredibly angry with her. And it was no one’s fault but her own. She buried her face in her hands, “I’m such a screw-up.” She muttered stiffly. If only she hadn’t come running to Natasha, if only she hadn’t provoked her father, if only she could deal with her own problems instead of making Natasha worry about her. A wave of self-hatred engulfed her, was she so awful that she made Natasha, the kindest, gentlest, soul in the world become angry at her? She laughed bitterly and thought it was quite a talent. 

The door opened and Natasha came out, glancing around before her eyes settled on Mary and her face softened. Kneeling down next to her she prepared to speak but Mary started before she had time to, “I’m sorry Nat, I should’ve just-” 

Natasha cut her off, “No, I’m sorry, it wasn’t right to push you like that, I was just worried.” 

Mary drew further into herself, “I’m sorry for making you worried.” 

“Hey,” Natasha guided Mary’s face up with her hand, “Don’t be, it’s okay to let people worry about you some times.” 

“I just,” Mary sighed, “I feel like such a burden, like why can’t I deal with my own shit.”   
Natasha’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, Mary hardly ever cursed. 

“And it’s not fair to you when I come over upset and then deny that anything’s wrong when you’re just trying to help.” 

“Masha, sweetie,” Natasha slid closer to Mary and put her head on her shoulder, “It’s okay. Sometimes things are hard to talk about.” 

“I just wish you didn’t have to deal with this,” Mary said sadly. 

“Deal with what? You?” 

Mary nodded and Natasha felt her heart splinter, “Oh sweetie.” She started stroking Mary’s hair, she had always adored it when Mary left her hair down. It was so silky and soft and she knew Mary loved when her hair was played with. “I’m not dealing with you, I’m caring about you, because I love you okay? I love you and I just want to help you. And I’m sorry for pressuring you but it just hurts when you don’t tell me things because it makes me feel like you don’t trust me.” 

Mary took Natasha’s hand and guided it away from her hair, “I do trust you, Natalie, really I do but if I can deal with things on my own then I should.” “Especially when they’re my fault,” She added quietly. 

Natasha forced Mary to look at her, “But you don’t need to. That’s one of the best parts about being in a relationship, you get to vent and rage and cry and be assured that all your feelings are valid.” 

Mary tilted her head up to hide the tears that were forming, tears of gratitude that she had hardly cried before. She never had anyone like Natasha in her life, someone who was always gonna be there, even when things got rough. Someone who loved her unconditionally, and wasn’t afraid to say it. 

“I-” She started to speak but was cut off by Natasha wrapping her in a hug. 

“Shh,” She whispered close to Mary’s ear, “I’m gonna hold you to the end of the world, no second-guessing, no regrets.” Natasha nuzzled into the crook of Mary’s neck, “I love you. And nothing can change that.”

Mary relaxed, letting her head fall on top of Natasha’s, “I love you too, I always will. And Nat?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments make my day, just saying :D


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